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High Plains Drifter

'Cause I'm a high plains drifter, and I'm the drifter
The high plains drifter, and I'm the drifter
They can't catch me, never gonna find me
They're never gonna know that I'm the high plains drifter

Pulled over to the river to take a rest
Pulled out a pair of pliers and pulled the bullet out of my chest
Fear and loathing across the country listening to my 8-track
I reached behind the seat to snatch a cool one from the pack
A long distance from my girl, and I'm talking on the cellular
She said that she was sorry and I said, Yeah, the hell you were
Check the rear view mirror, check the gold tooth display
Check the odometer, and I was on my way

Cause I'm the high plains drifter, the best that you can get
A strapped shoplifter, a pirate on cassette
Bust a Travis Bickle when I feel that I'm getting pushed
Don't step to me 'cause you're gonna get mushed

I'm doin' 120, plowing over mailboxes
Radar detector to tell me where the cops is
Spend another night at the Motel 6
It's five dollars extra get the porno flicks, and then I
Concoct a black and tan in my brandy snifter
I'm a kleptomaniac, K-Mart shoplifter
Cash flow getting low, so I had to pull a job
I found a nice place to visit, but a better place to rob
I left my car outside, and the engine still revvin'
Time to get busy (T.C.B.) at 7-Eleven
And then I went inside to make my withdrawal
I saw all that he had, but I had to take it all

Knucklehead deli tried to gyp me on the price
So I clocked him off the turban with the bag of ice
'Cause I'm mellow like Jell-O, cool like lemonade
I made my getaway and then I thought that I had it made
I feel like Steve McQueen, a former movie star
Look in my rearview mirror, seen a police car
Ballantine quarts with the puzzle on the cap
I couldn't help but notice I was caught in a speed trap
Dirty Mary, Crazy Larry, on the run from Dirty Harry
Stash the cash in the dash, but my gun I did carry
I'm seeing blue and red, flashing deep in the night
I got my alibi straight, and I pulled over to the right
The cop knocked on my window and said, Boy, where's the fire?
You've got a mailbox on your bumper and a bald front tire
Outta the car, longhair
Your goose is cooked
Read me my rights, fingerprinted, and booked

Makin' like a D.T., driving a Grand Fury
Wherever I hang my hat's my home, and my past is kind of blurry
Every dog will have its day, and mine will be in front of a jury
I'm the high plains drifter, you know I'm never in a hurry

Read me my rights as if I didn't know this
Threw me in the tank with the drunk called Otis
With his five o' clock shadow, he smelled of 3-day old beer
My man turned to me and said, Why are you here?
I said I'm charmin', I'm dashing, I'm rental car bashin'
I'm phony paper passing at Nix Check Cashing
I went before the judge, he sent me to the Brooklyn House of D
He said, You behave or we'll throw away the key
Houdini'd out the cuffs, I kicked the screw in the knee
I took the bailiff's wallet and went straight to O.T.B.
I had a good feeling, easy come, easy go
I bet on one horse to win and another just for show
And, sure enough, that nag came in
Brought my ticket to the window and collected my win
And then I broke into my new car with a wire coathanger
Hot wired, hot wheeled, and Suzy is a headbanger